Pokhara

While in Pokhara, I unwittingly fell prey to several cultural lessons. As a much smaller city than Kathmandu, Pokhara was less intimidating. Dr. Anil ownes a house near Amar Singh Chowke- "chowke" being the Nepali word for junction. (Really trying to learn)

First I should qualify this by defining a typical house in which nepalese people live. All streets are lined with these garage things that sell anything: traditional saris, vegetables and produce, goats, gowns, knock-off American items (my favorite is their version of Lay's brand sour cream and onion chips, it is "LAYS. American Style, Cream, and Onion").

Anyways, the people in Nepal live above these garages, but the buildings are almost all decrepid and putrid, by western standards and would have been demolished by the health department a decade ago. Actually in Pokhara though, some of these dwelling things date back 400 years. People are still living in them, selling the same things. The only apparent change is old Jimmy Buffet t-shirts have replaced more traditional wear. So, Dr. Anil grew up in one of these, but went to college, earned a PhD, bought the entire complex, gave it to neighbors, and built a house behind it, facing in the giant "himalyas."

I was able to have awesome conversations with his daughter-in-law about their caste-system, marriage, hindu religion, patriarchy, and Nepali lessons. To highlight, the caste system is still thriving in Nepal. Kamala (the girl) said her mother went to America and hated it because she could not believe women did their own "house work" without the "help." When a Nepali girl marries, -first of all the ceremony is days long and highly elaborate- the marriage is still arranged by parents as to who and when, although in most cases the male still has input as to when. Following, the girl leaves her family entirely, and can never again call them her "mother or father" because they have been replaced.

I have never seen such hospitality as the way these women serve the males and guests. They (women, but Nepalese as a whole) remain at a constant state of attention to how everyone feels, tired, thirsty, happy, etc.

Dr. Anil took me to several Hindu temples in Pokhara, one on a island in a legendary lake, Phewatal. You can stand on the island and look across to the hills and the himalayas but if you catch the time right, the water from Phewatal reflects the hills and the himalayas, making the landscape seem even more epic.

Sardhi (Dr. Anil's wife) is a gem of a woman, a very very happy person. She doesn't speak english, but went to great lengths to show me everything "american" that I might know to make me feel more at home. We went around to every "aaavvvvocath" (avocado) tree in their garden. She also had a traditional shalwar kamiz - or the dress of unmarried Hindu girls- made for me to match the necklace I've been wearing.

Mailai Pokhara ekdam raamru laagyo.
-literally: To me Pokhara very pleasing I feel.
(I'm trying)